More Than One Hundred Words About Maedhros by Himring

Free Fall

More about love than about death, but ultimately about both.

Maedhros's POV

Rating: Teens

Warning: mature themes

The only way he knows how to do it is to let down his guard completely. And so there is a terrifying moment of utter defencelessness—the sickening plunge, the dizziness of free fall—before Fingon catches him, Fingon has him, and it is safe to yield and it becomes safe to want and to need. He supposes love ought to be easier than that, but he is a cripple, after all. That is how it is.

(He does not really remember the moment when Fingon succeeded in cutting him free from the cliff, the moment before Fingon managed to grab him and haul him back up. It is Fingon who remembers this.)

That is how it is—and he closes his eyes to the abyss and throws himself off the cliff again, braving the sick terror and praying that his marvellous cousin will not miss the catch, will not weary of the game. But he ends up safe in Fingon’s arms, each time—until the miracle fails to happen, not because Fingon has wearied, but because he is no longer there.