The Dark Foe Wears Feanaro by whitewave

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Fanwork Notes

The title was inspired by "The Devil Wears Prada" and the "fashion critic to the stars" Mr. Blackwell.   The contents were written with the help of extra espresso shots from Starbucks and strong "elf-lord lust".  :-)

Many thanks to Dawn Felagund for her Beta work.  I've made a few changes after posting.  Apologies but I just can't resist.

MEFA 2009 Second Place - Humor - Parody 

Fanwork Information

Summary:

Timeline of major events in the trend-setting House of Fëanaro, the undisputed leader in the Eldarin fashion industry.

Major Characters: Elu Thingol, Fëanor, Finarfin, Fingolfin, Fingon, Finrod Felagund, Finwë, Huan, Indis, Ingwë, Melkor, Míriel Serindë, Nerdanel, Olwë, Original Character(s), Sons of Fëanor, Turgon, Valar

Major Relationships:

Genre: Humor

Challenges: All Good Beasts

Rating: Adult

Warnings: Expletive Language, Mature Themes, Sexual Content (Mild)

This fanwork belongs to the series

My Preciousssss Mary Sues
Chapters: 2 Word Count: 2, 116
Posted on 25 June 2008 Updated on 25 June 2008

This fanwork is complete.

Table of Contents

The Timeline

I took a peek at the websites of Vera Wang, Louis Vuitton and United Colors of Benetton and mixed them all up to come up with this.

The Goodies

The images I've imagined for the posters and billboards are mostly from my dirty mind and the very beautiful and funny pictures I've collected so far (drawn by talented artists) in deviantart.com (Breogan, Milako, Tirldar, Jenny Dolfen, and many more) elfwood.com (Diana Hann) and photobucket.com (various).  

Comments

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You are seriously one of the best Tolkien humor writers that I’ve read.  This was just too funny!  I was too lazy to close my door and so had to refrain from laughing (lest someone hear me, ask what was so amusing, and discover that I am indeed a “nerdy female”), but it was difficult.  You know, if you could actually manufacture those products, I’d be your first customer. ;)

I hope very much that you’ll continue to bring us such excellent humor fics in the future!

:-)  I'm so glad you liked it.  Thanks for reading and reviewing and for the very nice comments.  Methinks I'm the biggest nerd of the lot though.  Yes, I wish there was some way to manufacture them too--in a way Chapter 2 is a wish list.  :^)  I still have a number of pieces on the Feanorians lined up and one about Finarfin and I'll be updating "The Scented Pleasure Garden" soon.

Read this over again, since you said you’d made some changes, and it still made me very happy.  I’m not sure how much of what I noticed this time were things you added, and how many were just things I’d missed because I was too busy concentrating on trying not to laugh the first time... but the fifth and sixth age “labels” were quite amusing, and I just can’t seem to get over the “Let’s Educate Our Valar Fund” (they definitely need it!)... you rock.  :D

Rofl I really had so much fun reading this. I have to list some of my favorite parts.

Her doting husband King Finwe reputedly always helped her out of her form-fitting robes to check for "quality control"

Lololol Sounds like a typical excuse a man would use;)

After much tension and experimentation with the life-like mannequins, Feanaro and Nerdanel soon marry and start "crafting their own family tree."

 Hmmmmm rofl conjures too many strange images.

I really laughed at the Silmarils covering the family-jewels.

I really want to see the "Unbreakable Oath ad" !!! And I wouldn't mind the realistic, anatomically correct, voice activated (though that might get annoying when they won't shut up about the Silmarils), realistic motion ( has definite possibilities ;) seven son mannequins.

Very fancy balls of chemically-treated sequins....lmao what a classic.

Teleporno, wasn't that Celeborn's name??? Rofl how unfortunate but how funny you made it into a television station.

Seven sons scantly clad with very wet shirts. Yay!

Mostly black cast-offs for Melkor. Lololol.

Hehehe the United Colors of Feanor?

Thanks for reading and reviewing.  Yes, this one always has me chuckling whenever I read it again.  The "Unbreakable Oath" ad is something I'd like to see too--if only I could draw. And I can't resist the "Teleporno" bit, as to the "United Colors", I wanted to have the brothers wear shirts with colors of the rainbow--I'm bad, I know.

Thanks for making my day!  Reviews always makes me smile! Yes, I've seen that picture before, but it's always a delight to gaze at Tyelkormo the Fair. I've been planning to write something featuring him in a male beauty pageant for so long now, but I'm currently working on three other stories, one is a Bond-Silmarillion (AU) cross-over that will pair him up with a few gorgeous Bond girls so the beauty pageant will have to wait. 

Thanks for the review again.