Bringing Trouble to Barad-dur by Aiwen

A Challenge Offered and Accepted

The orcs filled the tiny room to overflowing. They looked everywhere for the Ring except down the privy. Celebrimbor stuck his hands behind his back and whistled a happy tune.

The press dispersed itself when Sauron entered. He scanned the room quickly, and then looked down the toilet. He pursed his lips, and turned to the nearest orc. "Go to the sewage pits," he instructed, "and take the enhanced metal attractors. Sift through the sewage with them until you find a gold ring set with a diamond."

The orc looked blank.

"Lord Zigur means the magic magnets," the Nazgul explained from the corner. "They are in store room 122b."

"You'll need at least five of you to handle them," Sauron continued, "and don't put them near metal. Remove your armor and weapons and anything else metal before you go near them. I want the Ring back by this evening. Now go."

"Yes, my lord," the orcs answered, before turning and trooping out of the room. Sauron shook his head and walked out of the room and back onto the stairs. He stopped and discussed events with the Nazgul. Celebrimbor floated after him, wondering how Sauron was going to explain the strange events he and Gil-galad had been causing.

"Khamul," Sauron said, "we appear to have an invisible intruder. I assume you are aware of the strange events of late?"

"The problems with the torture implements and the strange writing on the walls?"

"Yes, among others."

"What others, my lord?"

"A series of strange accidents in my quarters, including somebody messing with the Palantir and hiding my Great Seal."

"Yet there is no one to be seen." Khamul reached one arm of his black robe upward to stroke an invisible chin.

"No one, even when my Ring was floating through midair with no visible means of support. Someone or something is shielding the troublemaker. When I find them, they will regret it for the remainder of their incorporeal existence. I want you to report anything out of the ordinary, whether it seems connected to this or not."

"Yes, my lord." He paused. "I have not heard of any others that I have not reported to you yet."

"Good. How goes the preparations in Dol Guldor? Will you be able to time the strikes to coincide with the attack on Minas Tirith?

"It will be difficult, but preparations are far enough along that it should be possible. At latest, it should be a day after the first attack on Minas Tirith."

"That should do, but make sure it is no later."

Some half an hour later, Sauron returned to his quarters. For once, nothing seemed to be out of order and he went into his office to check over his spies' latest reports. He pulled out his chair and halted. His great seal was back, sitting innocently beside the ink pot. He picked it up and examined it suspiciously. Nothing had changed about it at all. He held it up to the lantern. The only fingerprints on it were his own. His invisible adversary had been at it again. He looked over at his out box. It was empty.

He then began pulling out all his files so he could examine them for alterations and things that didn't fit. He swore under his breath. He really didn't have time for this sort of stupidity, but he couldn't trust anyone else to do it, so there it was. He finished an hour and a half later, with nothing to show for his labors. Thoroughly disgusted, he stood up and stretched, then stopped still as he heard someone laughing at him.

"Show yourself!" he commanded. The laughter rang louder, and he realized it was inside his head rather than coming in through his ears. With an effort of will, he calmed himself. Showing how much he hated being laughed at would only make his invisible antagonist laugh the more. You have done well today, have you not? Very impressive, if not very wise. he told the invisible voice. I would very much like to see who has been making a fool of me. I could find a use for one with your talents.

The laughter came again. I think I'll refrain, said the voice. It was a vaguely familiar voice, definitely elvish, but Sauron couldn't quite place it. A disembodied elvish fea? But he ought to be able to sense its presence without it communicating with him... I've never gone out of my way to make your life easier, the voice continued. In fact, wrecking your plans for Middle-earth has always been one of my highest priorities.

You will regret this, Sauron snarled.

Not as much as you will, the voice answered.

Meanwhile, Gorgnash balanced carefully on a catwalk above the sewage pits, pulling the magic magnet through the muck. The magnet was hanging from a cable between him and the orc on the opposing catwalk. He wiped his streaming eyes carefully on his sleeve before continuing to pull the magnet closer. No matter how he tried, he could not shut out the vile stench. Why did he always gets stuck with the really nasty jobs?

Chapter End Notes

Gold is not magnetic, but I'm assuming for the sake of the story that the gold in the Ring has been alloyed with other metals that are.

Poor Gorgnash. Those magnets are going to pick up many, many things before they find one mildly-magnetic ring. It's going to take ages.