The Son of Curufin by Caranthol

(Cool, I'm the first person to review this!) Anyway, I really liked this chapter. Very dramatic. Keep writing!

This is a lovely story, Caranthol! I love the family dynamics here- the interaction between Curufin and his son, and between the Fëanoreans and Finrod. There's not many well-written dialogues among these elves around... Your characterisations seem very logical and canonical, and some scenes are not frequently seen in fanfic though they'd deserve to - Celebrimbor seeking the counsel of his father; Curufin restraining his brother to prevent him from risking the wrath of the Nargothrondrim -and deciding to put his point through by feigning kindness; again Curufin, not being the villain eager to get rid of his cousin -not until he heard of the quest... and other instances.

 One can feel for Celebrimbor, and keep just the right degree of detachment from his father and uncle- I appreciate that they're depicted neither as already-villainy nor compassionately. The characterisations sound very proper to me- Celebrimbor with his love for his father and yet already a desire for their house to behave in a more noble way; Curufin being the quiet, cunning, apparently-polite one in the background; Finrod with his Noldorin temper heritage that gets the better of him temporarily, although he's kindnes itself otherwise; Tyelkormo proving he hasn't been named "Hasty-Riser' for nothing, being the more impetuous of the brothers.... And I have to feel for Orodreth.

 I also appreciate the little things that you pay attention to, like Curufin's dark dreams and forebodings- that's very in-character with the Eldar, and yet not often featured ; or the not-frequently-appearing notion of the unsuitability of publicly opposing one's father.    

The language is well-chosen too- neither flowery nor contemporary. As for language, characterisation, and plot, there's nothing that I cannot praise.

Still, I feel like it might be a good idea to expand some parts a bit more, if even by a few words to stand for a longer piece of dialogue. Eg. the briefness of Curufin's appeal to the Nargothrondrm didn't seem enough for me to stir the hearts of the people to rebellion; I think he'd need more words concerning the quest itself and the danger it would present for their realm to make them so agitated as to murmur their revered king was no Vala... Even if it would only take stg like "and many other images he painted vividly before them", or stg. I'm not sure now, but I think that even in the Silmarillion, he's said to speak to the people for a long time.

Do you have a beta to keep an eye on the language, Caranthol? I don't think that we non-native speakers of English need spell-checkers, but I came across a few expressions here that I think might be substituted for more suitable terms, from the stylistic point of view- the word order in "has not yet fallen", the preposition in "disappointment in his people", "uncourteously" for "badly" and a few others. If you'd welcome a langauge /stylistics beta, I'd be glad to offer my service ;) If not I'll be content with the story as it is (though I'd probably keep picking on this sort of things in my further reviews ;) ), and I'll look forward to another chapter :)

 cheers, Nólemë

Oh, goodie, new chapter! Once again, I am very impressed. Great dialogue, everyone's in character, plenty of drama...it's all good. :)

Again, the characterisation in this chapter is faultless- I don't know how you did it, but you managed to write precisely the same portrayal of Elves as can be found in JRRT's work; very few authors can do that! I can put an equation mark between the elves of the Silmarillion and your portrayal of them; every little scene fits so smoothly into the frame that JRRT set for the nature and customs of the Eldar...  Namely, I was impressed by the scenes which feature Lúthien- not for any particular love for her (though you almost succeed in making me like her ;) ), but for the 'elvishness' of the dialogues and the Fëanoreans' approach to her (especially Celebrimbor's). By no means can just anyone handle these scenes believably- I remember one story where the author let one of the Fëanoreans strike Lúthien :/ I'm glad you've decided for the polite-conspiracy approach... that's pretty much how I view the events in Nargothrond happening, too.

I also appreciate how you depict the relationship of Curufin and his son. Again, Celebrimbor's love and loyalty for his father (as illustrated by the dialogue in his father's chamber) sounds absolutely in-character, apart from being well and movingly handled. Eventhough the relationship is about to receive a crack that would lead to the son's estrangement, I'd love to see this elves-are-polite-beings-though-some-may-be-corrupted line continue in the further chapters.

 I fear that Celegorm will appear in this story in a villainous light - of course, both brothers were 'villains' -eventhough Curufin is said to be the one who 'started it' so to say- and Tyelkormo's rashness is no excuse for his dark deeds :)

As a history student I tried to make the attitudes and notions of conduct of the characters at least a little medieval. - don't worry, they are. Like I said, both features you mentioned sound like Tolkien's. :) And that there are about 10 Silmfic stories whatsoever I've read that IMHO do!

 you are welcome to point any errors or such out in reviews, though. The Silmarillion-style dialogue in particular gives me sometimes pains to write. - I will if you wish, but I won't mention all of them in reviews- firstly, it would make them too lengthy, secondly, it would seem awkward, and like I'm too picky :) You're right in that you don't need a beta for your story. There are a couple of small inconsistencies of style, however (eg. archaic words together with slightly informal ones) and some minor corrections might be done to the vocab (randomly - "full knowledge" for 'all of', "but feared to." for "feared.", "dark forebodings" rather than "dark thoughts" which may also stand for "evil thoughts"...). Therefore I spoke from the POV of a student of English linguistics and stylistics- I'm not putting myself forward in any way ;) I could contact you privately with my observations on the choice of lexical items and the unity of the Silmarillion style, but that's of course only if you wish to ;)

 best wishes, Nólemë  

This chapter offers a very believeable intake on the beginning corruption of the Nargothrondrim just as the curse of Mandos predicted, and the helplessness that the 'faithful' such as Celebrimbor must have felt. In the dialogue between him and Curufin, he actually reminds me of Faramir quite a lot... His words are those of wisdom, but his father refuses to see it. If that is meant to be a parralel, it is indeed well done ^ ^

The chapter also made me wonder what kind of ruler Orodreth would have been if the Fëanoreans hadn't influenced the first years of his reign so disastrously, making him appear but a shadow of his elder brother... His position was not one to be envied :/ He couldn't allow himself to oppose his cousins openly, as their departure would weaken Nargothrond considerably... To attempt to save Finrod as his heart undoubtedly wished would mean to leave the realm in the hands of the Fëanoreans (strangely enough, very much the same position in which I see Maglor after the captivity of Nelyo)...  I'm afraid that the poor Noldo indeed had no choice but to 'do nothing' at that time :(

I appreciate how you worked into the story the 'motto' of the brothers- 'the eldest blood our house doth own'.

The dialogue between Celebrimbor and Lúthien is well handled. 

There are a couple of typos (such as the omission of 'will' in "I will gladly help you") and some vocab/ word order mistakes ("want Curufin to know", "have I not always been honest", "let go of her arm" for "let" etc.). I have observed, however, that the style seems much more unified in this chapter.

I'll check the chapters you mentioned for you, just send them to me through the Contact form on my Member Info page :) You're welcome to write the message itself in Swedish, as I need to practise the language and I've read in your bio that you're Finnish, so it's like a second language to you, isn't it ;)