The Condensed Silmarillion by Cheeky

In The Beginning

In the beginning Eru created the Valar.

He had time on his hands so he made an awful lot of them.

Unfortunately he failed to foresee that making one God much better than all the other Gods may cause some problems.
Eru was very naive.

The Valar liked :
Talking in council meetings
Singing, (although singing in unison was not their strong point)
Meddling in things when they really should leave well enough alone
Not meddling in things when it was obvious they really really should!
Shiny pretty things
And did I mention council meetings?

There are many Valar. Believe me you don't want to know them all.

A rundown of the Major Players. (We will leave the bit parts for the truly dedicated)

Melkor - Doesn't play well with others.
Manwe - Overachiever, Teachers Pet
Aulë - Good with his hands
Yavanna - Green Party president
Ulmo- Independant thinker. The only one with any common sense
Mandos - Slightly unhealthy occupation with the dead.
Tulkas - Warrior Valar, unfortunately tends to turn up late.

And just when you have that straight we find out most of them have two names.

Yeah, get used to that............