The Condensed Silmarillion by Cheeky

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The Darkening of Valinor

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Chapter 8: The Darkening of Valinor

Otherwise known as:
Exactly how Stupid ARE the Valar?

In which the Valar make a large number of mistakes, let's count them shall we.

Shortly after the elves showed up the Valar decided they really should stop wallowing and make an effort to deal with Melkor.

So they went to Middle-earth fought him and captured him. (see guys you could have done that ages ago)

They threw him in Mandos's deepest darkest dungeon. I imagine Mandos wasn't that happy about that.

Mandos: These are the Halls of the Dead and he is not dead so not my problem.
Manwë: Listen Mandos, you have spent years lazing around doing nothing while we all work our butts off. It's about time you pulled your weight. He is coming to you, end of story.

Eventually Melkor came up before the parole board and what did the Valar do?

They. Let. Him. Go.

I repeat....... They let him go.

Mistake no. 1.

Apparently Manwë wasn't evil and therefore couldn't tell that Melkor WAS.
Hello Manwë, how about the subtle hint that from the word go he has destroyed everything you guys have ever made???

When he got out he was supposed to be on house arrest. That lasted 5 minutes then they let him amble around chatting to random elves.

Mistake no. 2

They let him spend time with Fëanor, the problem child, of all people

Mistake no. 3

They let him wander and hook up with a giant evil spider

Mistake no. 4

Actually they had a giant evil spider living down the road and didn't even know it! How could they not know this?

Mistake no. 5

I guess I shouldn't be surprised, these are the guys who while they were living in their summer house in Middle-earth, didn't notice Melkor building a large underground fortress

Mistake no. 6.

Then when they captured Melkor they didn't bother searching his large underground fortress where Sauron was hiding out

Mistake no. 7. ...... Are you guys keeping up? It gets worse.

They chose the worst possible time to call Fëanor and Fingolfin together for some kind of family intervention. Too little too late guys.

Mistake no. 8.

When Melkor showed up Giant spider in tow, killing Finwë and stealing the Silmarils they didn't even know he was coming

Mistake no. 9.

They let him walk right up to Yavanna's precious trees and destroy them

Mistake no. 10

They let Melkor escape to Middle-earth and decided not to go after him

Mistake no. 11

Then when all was in chaos, Fëanor was roaming the wilds in soul destroying grief and the Noldor were plunged into scary darkness just waiting for someone to come along and work them all up into a state so they could do something foolish what did the Valar do?

Did they go down to the elves, make them feel better, say "don't worry we will sort this out for you." NO

Did they go out and find Fëanor, (or even just his sons) say "sorry about your Dad. What can we do to help?" NO

Arrange some kind of war party and go to deal with Melkor once and for all? ....well, NO

They sat.

They sat in darkness

They sat in darkness for a long long time

Are we sure these people are actually Gods?