The Condensed Silmarillion by Cheeky

The Kinslaying no. 1

I have altered the timeline of Manwë's messenger just the tiniest bit.....it was deliberate, not general Tolkien ignorance!

Chapter 10. The Kinslaying (no. 1)

So Fëanor was off to reclaim the Silmarils with Fingolfin and Finarfin trailing reluctantly behind him.

Meanwhile the Valar were......
Well they were still in the dark. Sitting. Sulking.
Except according to them they were " thinking". Thinking about the beginning of time.

Not that appropriate guys, possibly better to save your reminiscing for when your pretty elves aren't in the middle of a political crisis.

Off march Fëanor and co, off to Middle-earth.
Eventually they come face to face with a small problem. One they hadn't anticipated. Fëanor you are supposed to be intelligent. You should have seen this coming.

The Sea.

Fëanor : " You mean we can't just walk to Middle-earth?"

No Fëanor, you can't.

Luckily for the Noldor the Teleri were there with their boats to save them.

Unluckily for the Noldor the Teleri didn't quite get why they would want to leave.

Luckily for the Noldor they had Fëanor, most charismatic elf ever created to argue their cause.

Unluckily for the Noldor the Teleri decided some time ago they preferred boats to "The Light" ( yes they had actually managed to make a decision and even Fëanor - Problem Child couldn't change their minds on this one.)

Luckily for the Noldor Fëanor had recently created weapons. This should scare off the Teleri.

Unluckily for the Noldor the Teleri obviously didn't know what weapons were so didn't know they should be scared.

Unluckily for the Teleri, Fëanor decided to demonstrate how swords work.

Unluckily for the Noldor, Fëanor decided to demonstrate how swords work.

Note to Tolkien: Did you forget the Teleri had no swords?

End result: A Mess.

Unluckily for the Noldor Manwë FINALLY decided to send a messanger.

Unluckily for the Noldor Fëanor told the messanger to get lost.

Unluckily for the Noldor Mandos took offence and cursed them.

At this point Finarfin decided he had had enough of being unlucky and went home to Mummy.

Possibly everyone else would have been better off if they had joined him.

Unluckily for the Noldor, they didn't.