The Condensed Silmarillion by Cheeky

It All Goes Wrong

Fëanor and co.

Turns out burning the ships was not such a great idea, and not just because it destroyed Maedhros's love life.

Morgoth spotted them.

If you want to draw attention to yourself Fëanor, lighting a massive bonfire is the way to do it.

Morgoth sent out his army, ( hang on a minute how did he get an army, he has only been there 5 minutes? ...... Don't ask, it's a long story involving Valar ineptitude.)

They fought.
The elves won.
Fëanor got carried away- a slight weakness of his.
He went after Morgoth on his own.
It didn't go well.
Gothmog the Balrog had a go at him.

End of Fëanor.

Wait! You mean to say after reading all this way, having bonded with Fëanor, become invested in his quest, he goes and dies after 5 seconds in middle earth???

What happened Tolkien? Did you get bored with him??

That sucks because we didn't.

Fëanor was sent to Mandos's halls without any supper for eternity. Poor Mandos, his hands full dealing with the chaos resulting from the kinslaying and Fëanor turns up. I bet that didn't help matters any.

Mandos: " right everybody line up. Tell me how you got here."

Elf no. 1:" Fëanor killed me at Alqualondë
Elf no 2: " Fëanor killed me Alqualondë
Elf no. 3: One of Fëanor's sons killed me at Alqualondë

Elf no. 4: " I am Fëanor"

Mandos: " Aarrgh!!! Damn it Manwë, come out from behind those mountains and help me deal with this nightmare!!!!"

I guess this meant Fëanor finally got some family bonding time with his Mum though. About time too!