The Condensed Silmarillion by Cheeky

Feanor: Problem Child

Fëanor : Problem Child

Fëanor had issues. Oh he had SO many issues.

Product of a broken home, never bonded with his stepmother. She probably didn't like him much to be honest, being Stepmum to a child genius must be challenging.

Can you imagine the grief Fëanor got in the school yard. Only Elfling EVER to come from a blended family!

Fëanor had two half brothers, ( and two half sisters but they are girls so, you know, Tolkien pretty much ignored them) As you would expect from a messed up kid with behavioural problems he didn't get on with his brothers. In fact he created the first swords just so he could threaten to kill one of them.

Hmm maybe it is just as well the Valar dragged the elves out of Middle-earth. No weapons? After this long? They wouldn't have had a chance with Melkor. What would they have done, offered him flowers and hoped he had hayfever??

Fëanor's Mum: First ever Elleth to have postnatal depression she ditched him to hang out with Mandos.
Mandos... Got a bone to pick with you about this one. Could you not have just given her a lecture about her responsibilities and sent her back?

I think Mandos was so excited to see a dead person finally in his halls he just couldn't let her go.

Against all odds Fëanor found someone to love him, ( although he stuffed that up too in the end). Nerdanel, who apparently was the only one who could keep him under control. Perhaps she withheld something to make him behave, ( although she didn't withhold it all that much because they had 7 sons.)

Fëanor had to do everything better than anyone else including procreating.

The sons of Fëanor are kind of important. Better give you a run down.

Maedhros : had very pretty hair. Proof ginger CAN be gorgeous! ( full disclosure here, I have a weak spot for Maedhros )

Maglor: the musical one, If the Feanorians were the Jackson Five Maglor would be Michael, (young Michael that is, not Michael with issues) .....The Feanorian Seven..... Kind of catchy really.

Celegorm: could talk to animals, Dr Doolittle of Middle earth. Even had a talking dog called Huan who he really should have spent more time listening to.

Caranthir: The baddie. Got all of his fathers temper and not much to make up for that. Spends his time mooching round in the background making Maedhros's life more difficult. ( so NOT my favourite then)

Curafin: Fëanor's favourite, so he gave him the same name - just so it would be obvious to all the rest who it was Fëanor really liked. Not a very pleasant kind of chap. We do need to know him though....... Father of Celebrimbor ( and we all know who Celebrimbor is don't we.) For those shocking people who don't here's a hint, he liked making jewellery

Amrod and Amras : Weird Twins who called each other by the same name. Since this is the Silmarillion they wandered around joined at the hip for the entirety . If you read one of the other books it's all completely different.

What else is there to say about the first juvenile delinquent of the Noldor?
Ah Fëanor , It was always bound to end badly.