The Condensed Silmarillion by Cheeky

The Sundering of the Elves

Chapter 4. The Sundering of the Elves.

The Valar decided to lure the Elves to Valinor. They wanted them to "See the Light."

At first they weren't very successful. You can't really blame the elves for that, after all are any of us thrilled when people come knocking at our doors saying they want to help us See the Light...... Most of us end up hiding behind the curtains pretending not to be home.
That's pretty much what the elves did.

So the Valar tried a different tack. They chose the three most gullible elves and TOOK them to see the light.
This was more successful.

So the elves began the long trek to Valinor, it took years. Unfortunately the elves hadn't quite got around to inventing the wheel. This contributed to a rather long trip. If the Valar had been bothered to give them a nudge with their wheel inventing things may have been quicker.

The trip took so long groups of elves kept getting lost along the way.
They were sundered....... Poor babies.

And so the Elves ended up looking like this.

The Vanyar

The Vanyar really wanted that Light. They RAN to Valinor so they could beat all the rest, and when they got there nabbed all the best real estate next to the Valar...... Location, location, location.
The Vanyar are the popular kids that everyone secretly dislikes.

The Vanyar: Best and Prettiest, Legends in their own Lifetime.

The Noldor.

The Noldor didn't have any Light and so they were rather keen on getting some. They were second to make it to Valinor.

Aulë likes the Noldor. He SAYS it's because they love to build things but I have a sneaking suspicion it's actually because they have no qualms about cutting down Yavanna's trees.

The Noldor: always wanting what they haven't got, ( and believe me this comes back to haunt them before too long!)

The Teleri.

The Teleri missed the boat. I mean, they literally missed the boat.
They took so long to get to the sea, after some scary encounters with immovable mountains and the like, that they were left behind.

They eventually hitched a ride on an island, only to change their minds with sight of Aman. They decided they would rather build boats than See the Light. ( and believe me this would come back to haunt them before too long!)

The Teleri: Indecisive, couldn't organise their way out of a paper bag.

The Sindar:

Half of the Teleri didn't even make it to the sea. Their Lord wandered off and found himself trapped in a cheesy Mills and Boon plot line.

Lost in the forest and enchanted by his one true love,
( Question. Is it really your one true love if she has to cast a spell on you to keep you frozen in one spot with her for years?)

By the time his people found him it was way too late for them to be going anywhere.

The Sindar: Elves most likely to read bad romance novels. But they gave us Legolas so because of that I am prepared to forgive all the Sindars faults.

The Nandor/ Silvan:

Teleri who got so put off by the Misty Mountains they gave up on the whole Valinor idea. New age tree huggers, I bet Yavanna loved these guys. If Aulë had bothered to ask her to help in his child-making she would have come up with the Silvans.

Silvans: So much more interesting than the Noldor! ( Feonorians excepted of course).

The Avari:

When the Valar came knocking at the Avari's door all they found was a large " Door to Door Salesman not welcome " sign. They thought the Valar could take their light and shove it. The lake and the stars were all they wanted.

The Avari: They knew what they liked and they liked what they knew. The Valar could go jump. (Perhaps the Avari were the ones with the most common sense after all.)