The Condensed Silmarillion by Cheeky

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Gil-Galad was an Elven King


So Alas, Gondolin was no more and Elven society had lost yet another secret enclave,( secret enclaves being the way they seemed to like to run things.) 
Maybe it is time to change things up a bit guys because that doesn't seem to be going very well for you.

Tuor took his remnant of Gondolin down to Sirion where they threw a big party, as you do when your entire hidden city has been mercilessly crushed and totally destroyed along with nearly everyone who lived there. Go ahead, throw a party guys, that's totally appropriate.

Anyway in Sirion they joined up with Elwing's band of merry men, ( and women) and there they discovered their first problem. Turgon was dead. They had no High King.

Now this couldn't be allowed to continue. They had to get a High King from somewhere. Obviously they called a meeting, anybody who was anybody was there arguing about who the next High King would be.

Eventually Cirdan marched to the front dragging a poor elf behind him. "This is your new High King," he announced ....and his name is Gil-Galad. Ereinion Gil-Galad to be exact." 

"Rubbish!" cried someone from the floor. "Who is he? We have never even heard of him."

"He is Fingon's son." Cirdan certainly sounded convincing. "And I have raised him as some kind of random foster son." 

At that they all laughed. "Fingon's son? Pull the other one. Fingon was with Maedhros, there is no way that is ever going to work." 

"Do you see anybody better?" Cirdan asked them.

Gil-Galad himself was rather taken aback by all this drama. 

"Look, I am not sure I actually remember ever being Fingon's son. I am sure there is somebody better suited for this job......Galadriel?" 

But Galadriel was rapidly backing out the door...."No thanks," she said, "I would rather live a bit longer." 

Gil-Galad tried someone else,
"Gildor?" 

"Not me!" said Gildor.."don't you know I don't exist....I am definitely not Finrod's son that's for sure." 

Gil- Galad was getting desperate now.

"How about one of the Son's of Feanor? After all the high kingship was theirs to start off with."

And that went down like a lead balloon.

"They spend their time running around killing us. Hardly people we want to give absolute power to now are they?" 

Gil-Galad was stuck. He had run out of candidates. Nobody would listen to him and yet he was sure he had never in his life met anyone called Fingon.

Wasn't he just supposed to be an ordinary boat builder? Why had his mother never told him any of this 'next High King of the Noldor' stuff? 
Had it somehow slipped her mind?

"Oh by the way son, I totally forgot but your Dad was a High King, sorry...so silly of me."

"Well I guess," he stammered uncertainly......"I guess if you are all so sure.....I really don't think......but if you want me too...."

"See you later Sucker!!!!"  
That was Galadriel and Gildor taking off at speed out of the district before anybody could come to their senses. 

After all they had by now worked out being High King translated to.....being dead very soon and in a very painful and unfortunate way, (usually involving a Balrog) and neither of them were keen to experience that!


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