The Condensed Silmarillion by Cheeky

Is Maglor Really the Mastermind Behind it All?

Now we move on to Eärendil.

He was Tuor and Idril's son and for some unfortunate reason goes by the rather ungainly name of Bright.

Bright Eärendil it is. Not sure if this refers to his intellect or just some vague kind of glowing thing he had happening.

Eärendil was keen on boats. He didn't really want to be a leader of people he wanted to be a fisherman. So he built himself a ship. It's oars were gold. Eärendil was a show off.

Then he made what was to be his biggest mistake.
He married Elwing.

Elwing, granddaughter of Luthien, great granddaughter of Melian. Well she is sure to be stable isn't she. From this we can now see the "Bright" in Bright Eärendil did NOT refer to intelligence.

Eventually Maedhros found out Elwing was hiding out in Sirion and that she STILL had his Silmaril. Having learnt from the fact attacking Doriath didn't go all that well and for some very strange reason had meant he was suddenly the most hated elf in Arda he tried to simply ignore Elwing initially.

He put his fingers in his ears I think, singing na na na na na, every time someone mentioned her name.

But that didn't work for long, once again his brothers were nagging him to get up to no good. There actually weren't that many brothers left at this stage, just Maglor and the strange twins who insisted on calling each other the same name so maybe we have to put this next error of judgement all down to Maglor.

Maybe it was him all along.......
Perhaps last time he set up the 3 C's to be the baddies but now they are gone he is running out of fall guys. A pair of mentally deficient twins don't really cut it after all. Watch out Maglor....we are on to you.

So Maedhros caved again and sent words of friendship and stern demand to Sirion.

Maedhros....I don't think you have really grasped the rules of good communication here. Those two things don't usually go together. 

Dear Elwing,

Hi there, so good to hear that you are well. We really must catch up sometime. How about you come round for a cup of tea? 
So sorry I killed your Father and all those other people, I hope you know that was just a terrible accident. 

Anyway, call in and see us, you are always welcome.........why don't you bring that Silmaril you have with you. It looks so pretty with your eyes.

See you then.

Maedhros. ( and the others.....who are less than before.)

P.s. Bring the Silmaril, bring the Silmaril NOW I TELL YOU. Or I will be cutting off ALL your heads!

Hmm Maedhros...... Maybe you need to think this over some more?

Surprise, surprise Elwing didn't give up the Silmaril. Maedhros should have worked out by now that ain't ever happening. It doesn't matter how many friendly letters you write or how many times you shout at them. Nobody is going to just walk in off the street and give you one of those silmaril's Maedhros.

Nobody.