The Condensed Silmarillion by Cheeky

In Which Earendil Shows His True Colours

In which Eärendil shows his true colours.

I promised you we would find out how Eärendil heroically and singlehandedly rescued his sons from their captivity with the mad sons of Fëanor this chapter.........well I promised you we would find out what he did after Elwing showed up and that must be it right?

Is it?

No.

Instead he saw no hope in the lands of Middle Earth and came not home.

Are you serious?

His sons have been captured by a pair of murderous insane elves, abandoned by their jewellery obsessed mother and he says, " Well, there is no hope now. I'm off." 

Personally I think Elrond and Elros were better off without him. Full disclosure here, I have never been an Elrond fan but I am starting to feel more and more sorry for him by the second. 

Eärendil strapped the Silmaril to his brow and sailed off to Valinor. He could have just put it on a shelf somewhere, got one of his sailor men to hold it, but no. Strapping it to his brow seems a tad overdramatic...........and odd.

Anyway thanks to the light of the Silmaril he made it. All the way to the shores of Valinor, where apparently he was the first living Man to stand. Tolkien seems to get rather focused on Earendil's Mannish blood here. He tells us several times how he was the first secondborn to make it to Valinor. Come on, he was a Finweian too remember. Although given his recent behaviour the House of Finwe might just be washing their hands of him. 
What happened to that great and noble family? A couple of generations ago Fingon went all the way into the heart of Morgoth's lands to rescue Maedhros on his own with only a harp for company but Eärendil just shrugs and says....."Too hard, I'm out of here." 
That's what happens when you get Men corrupting your elvish blood.
Fingolfin would have been turning in his grave.

By some chance Eärendil had managed to arrive in the middle of a festival so there was literally no one around. 
Is that all they ever do there? Have festivals? 
He wanders around randomly, the Silmaril still taped to his forehead. ( Eärendil, this is just looking plain ridiculous now,) and manages to get himself covered in diamond dust. 
Now that he is truly looking like a pretty, shiny thing himself the Valar finally show up. Crawling out from behind the mountains where they have been sulking for the last several thousand years. 
If there is one thing the Valar can't resist it is a new shiny, pretty thing.

Eärendil asks for pardon for the Noldor who were such bad children and had the nerve to leave the Valar in the first place. I am not sure all the Noldor really wanted the Valar's pardon at this point. Perhaps Eärendil should have stuck to asking for his own pardon for his appalling desertion of his children which strangely the Valar aren't even slightly bothered about. 

That just about sums them up really.

Does nobody care about these poor kids?