B2MEM 2019 Double Drabbles by eris_of_imladris

I18

Summary: Fëanor questions his actions upon arriving in Middle-Earth.

Prompts: Fëanor as freedom fighter in Beleriand, Fëanor’s mommy issues.

No warnings.

Fëanor is indomitable, charging ahead without a second thought, unquestioned. He fights for his people’s freedom, for their right to live, for his father’s corpse, for the gems that were stolen. He never wavers.

To the others, he must look this way - even here, the threat of Nolofinwë lingers - but sometimes, he allows himself to question.

Finwë has told him of his mother, of the way she looked at everything with wonder. Every lake and leaf were new and beautiful when she roamed the world.

When Fëanor sees a tree thick enough that she could have seen it, or a river looking like it has flowed steadily past since the world’s beginning, he wonders if she ever laid her eyes upon them. The connection is fragile, but it feels real as he touches the things he finds, experiencing the world through her eyes.

He sees himself through her eyes. The hands that slaughtered cradle the tenderest buds of strange flowers. If she was there now, her hands alongside his, would she be proud? Or did that possibility burn with the last of the ships?

He can speculate forever, but what hurts most is that he will never know the answer.