The Condensed Silmarillion by Cheeky

Finrod, Elf gone Bad

Finrod - Elf Gone Bad!

Don't get me wrong. Finrod was a lovely guy at heart. Sweet, kind, gentle, but oh he was struggling with his post Turgon issues.

The Dwarves hadn't been able to straighten him out. He was in a downward spiral. In desperation they sent him off to his cousins Maedhros and Maglor. Surely they could get him back on the straight and narrow.

Maedhros took this responsibility very seriously. He arranged a family hunting trip thinking it would be like a team building experience. I think he must have been watching too many of those "Teach Teens Discipline in the Wild " programmes.
Maedhros, Maedhros, Maedhros don't you remember it was a family camping trip that started all Finrods problems in the first place.

Finrod did a runner. There was no way he could face another camping trip ever again, especially with cousins! He ditched them and wandered the wilds by himself. Aimless until the night he overheard some strange singing.
" Is that Orcs I hear? " he asked himself.

Ok Finrod. Now we know for sure you have been in the magic mushrooms..... Orcs?? Singing?? Because Orcs are so well known for their close harmonies, pausing in the middle of random slaughter of innocents to sing excerpts of the Hallelujah Chorus. It makes such perfect sense that when you heard singing the first thing you thought of was Orcs.

Not.

Turns out it wasn't orcs at all, surprise, surprise.

It was Men.
From this we can gather that Men were rather horrific singers.

Finrod had never seen any Men before. He could have simply walked up and introduced himself but Finrod had other ideas.
"I could have some serious fun messing with these guys" he thought. (told you he had turned into a delinquent)

He waited until they all went to sleep, they obviously weren't smart enough to set a night watch, then dressed himself up. Made sure he glowed his brightest light, whipped out his harp, ( yes another Elf with a harp fetish) and pretended to be a Valar.

The Men fell for it.

Luckily for Finrod, the Valar never found out about this particular prank because I am sure impersonating a Valar would have carried a fairly stern punishment.

After this the men were all over him. They couldn't get enough of him. They thought he was the best thing since sliced bread. Finrod enchanted their leader, changing his name to Beor, ( vassal/ slave/ bondsman. Just in case it wasn't completely obvious that's what he made him), and took him away to be his free labour.

Finrod appointed himself Chief Allocator of Men. He sorted out pet Men for Fingolfin, Maedhros and even Caranthir. He even tried to get Thingol in on the act but Thingol discovered he had a severe allergy to Men and was not having a bar of it.

Finrod: Elf Slave Trader Extraordinaire.

He's seriously in need of an intervention. Just no camping this time Maedhros.