Chasing Mirages by Russandol

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Fanwork Notes

Chasing Mirages

 

“Of old there was Sauron the Maia, whom the Sindar in Beleriand named Gorthaur. In the beginning of Arda Melkor seduced him to his allegiance, and he became the greatest and most trusted of the servants of the Enemy, and the most perilous, for he could assume many forms, and for long if he willed he could still appear noble and beautiful, so as to deceive all but the most wary.

When Thangorodrim was broken and Morgoth overthrown, Sauron put on his fair hue again and did obeisance to Eönwë the herald of Manwë, and abjured all his evil deeds. And some hold that this was not at first falsely done, but that Sauron in truth repented, if only out of fear, being dismayed by the fall of Morgoth and the great wrath of the Lords of the West. But it was not within the power of Eönwë to pardon those of his own order, and he commanded Sauron to return to Aman and there receive the judgement of Manwë. Then Sauron was ashamed, and he was unwilling to return in humiliation and to receive from the Valar a sentence, it might be, of long servitude in proof of his good faith; for under Morgoth his power had been great. Therefore when Eönwë departed he hid himself in Middle-earth; and he fell back into evil, for the bonds that Morgoth had laid upon him were very strong.”

“Of The Rings of Power and The Third Age”, The Silmarillion, J.R.R Tolkien

 

Warning: This tale describes a m/m relationship including sexual content and D/S themes. Please heed the overall story warnings.

Translations, quotes, etc. are provided at the end of each chapter, but generally only the first time a new term appears in the story. A list of characters, place names and glossary is also available in Appendix B.

Acknowledgements: I wish to thank elfscribe for her patient and insightful beta reading and unflagging support and to pandemonium_213 for encouraging me along from the very first draft long before I began posting, as well as for providing fabulous feedback. Thanks are due also to a bunch of folk at the Lizard Council (that is, kymahalei, elfscribe, erulisse, oshun, aearwen, surgicalsteel, Scarlet, pandemonium, Darth Fingon, Elf of cave, kimberleighe, vanime18431, dracoena, DrummerWench, grey gazania, Spiced Wine, sanna, lilithlessfair, alassante, crowdaughter, elleth and windsurfbabe. I hope I haven’t forgotten anyone!) who have commented and nit picked for many months. Special mention goes to SurgicalSteel for expert advice on injuries caused by different types of weapons and to Darth Fingon for help with both Quenya and Sindarin names.

All remaining errors are my own!

My vision of Sauron as a far more complex character than a villainous Dark Lord has no doubt been strongly influenced by the amazing The Apprentice by pandemonium_213 where she describes his clever seduction of the elves of Ost-in-Edhil using the arcane knowledge he possesses, and by the gripping tale Elegy for Númenor by elfscribe, where Annatar is superbly presented as a master manipulator, giving it all to the task of beguiling Ar-Pharazôn. These are two of the works that irreversibly hooked me into the Silmarillion fandom. For a little crossover to this latter novel, here's the link to my story Hospitality.

And here's two wonderful portraits of Eönwë, on the left, in the distant land of Kiinlúum, by Lyra, and on the right, by Alasse:

Eonwe, by Lyra Eönwë, by Alasse

 

Thanks, pandemonium_213, for the SWG 5th Birthday icon to Eönwë. He is most grateful for your encouragement...

You Made Me Love You (I didn't want to do it)

 

Disclaimer: Yes, Tolkien owns his characters, though often I dream they are mine... When the dream is over, they go back to their lives.

I make no money from them but then, most of the best things in life are free. All I'd dare ask is that if my stories entertain you, let me know by leaving a review.

 

Fanwork Information

Summary:

The story of Eönwë, Maia of Manwë, and Mairon Aulendil after the War of Wrath. A tale of darkness, light, love and betrayal over the Ages of Eä.

Tolkien simply told us that [Sauron] fell back into evil, for the bonds that Morgoth had laid upon him were very strong. But this line is unsatisfactory on so many levels that it became a challenge to create a plausible background story for Sauron's fall, from the time Eönwë returns to Aman to face the Valar over his decision to free one of Morgoth's most dreaded minions to Sauron's final fate, long after the destruction of the Ring.

Chasing Mirages banner

B2MeM 2011 and 2012 participant 

MEFA 2011 1st Place - Incomplete: Drama & Smaug's Treasure (but complete since then!)

 

Major Characters: Original Character(s), Anárion, Celebrimbor, Elrond, Eönwë, Erestor, Finarfin, Gil-galad, Glorfindel, Maglor, Mandos, Manwë, Melian, Sauron

Major Relationships:

Genre: Adventure, Drama, Slash/Femslash

Challenges: B2MeM 2011, B2MeM 2012, Fifth Birthday Celebration

Rating: Adult

Warnings: Character Death, Expletive Language, Mature Themes, Rape/Nonconsensual Sex, Sexual Content (Graphic), Torture, Violence (Graphic)

This fanwork belongs to the series

Chapters: 40 Word Count: 174, 416
Posted on 12 July 2010 Updated on 23 April 2023

This fanwork is complete.

Table of Contents

Eönwë, Herald of Manwë, returns to Aman after the War of Wrath.

 

Please note that translations for elvish terms (or words from other languages, as the story progresses) are usually listed at the end of each chapter and in the Appendix B. List of Characters, Place Names and Other Terms.

 

Eönwë sails to Middle-earth.

 

Eönwë arrives at his destination and meets the foe he's been commanded to seek.

 

Eönwë settles in Kiinlúum, a far realm of the East of Middle-earth.

 

Mairon drops the bait, and Eönwë... well, read at your own peril if you wish to find out.

 

Eönwë asks a favour from Mairon. Unfortunately for him, events do not work out as planned.

 

Eönwë and Mairon become more intimately acquainted.

 

The day after, Eönwë asks many questions, and Mairon provides answers.

 

Eönwë visits Mairon in his workshop and they strike a deal.

 

The years go by, Eönwë receives a present and Mairon another alias!

 

Eönwë makes a dreadful mistake and must pay the price.

 

Eönwë is summoned by the king and learns the whole truth.

 

Eönwë gets his... revenge?

 

Eönwë finds a new balance in his life in Kiinlúum.

 

Eönwë has to deal with the passing of Time.

This chapter fits two prompts of B2MeM 2011.

Valinor Passport Stamp B2MeM 2011Rivendell Passport Stamp B2MeM 2011

Eönwë proves his faith in his former foe.

This chapter fits three prompts of B2MeM 2011.

Nan Elmoth Passport Stamp B2MeM 2011Mithrim Passport Stamp B2MeM 2011Bree-lands Passport Stamp B2MeM 2011

Eönwë's bliss is shadowed by foresight. What will prevail: fate or free will?

 

A summons is issued, Eönwë makes a decision and Mairon... well, Mairon surprises Eönwë.

This chapter fits two of the prompts of B2MeM 2011.

Losgar Passport Stamp B2MeM 2011Nargothrond Passport Stamp

War escalates in Kiinlúum. Mairon and Eönwë play their parts.

Thank you to wonderful SurgicalSteel, who provided expert medical advice for the relevant portions of this chapter.

 

Eönwë faces the Doomsman of the Valar.

This chapter fits a prompt of B2MeM 2011.

Mordor Passport Stamp B2MeM 2011

Eönwë returns to Middle-earth.

 

Eönwë gets into trouble in Lindon.

 

A big thank you to Darth Fingon for his theory about the etymology of a particular obscure term.

 

Following Elrond's revelation, Eönwë stays in Lindon.

 

Eönwë and Elrond get to know each other over the years.

 

Elrond surprises Eönwë; years later, he has visitors.

 

Ereinion makes kingly decisions; a couple of centuries later, Eönwë receives exciting news.

 

Eönwë answers Mairon’s message.

 

Annatar talks about ships and wings; Mairon gets jealous.

 

Elrond decides it is time to travel back to Lindon.

 

Eönwë receives a message from Mairon, and Gil-galad from Celebrimbor.

 

Sauron shows his Dark Lord’s colours.

 

This chapter fits several B2MeM 2012 prompts:

Controversial - I22: Fate: Free Will or Preordained?
This Means War! - O67: Sauron vs. Celebrimbor

B2MeM 21012 Participant

 

Shattered dreams, lies and more...

 

This chapter fits several B2MeM 2012 prompts:

Discoveries - B4: The Rings of Power
Emotions - B9: Love, B14: Pain, I18: Grief, N33: Courage and G51: Cruelty

B2MeM 2012 Participant

 

After the events of Ost-in-Edhil, life goes on.

Thank you, elfscribe, for permission to do the little crossovers with Elegy.

 

This chapter fits one B2MeM 2012 prompt:

Emotions - O64: Horror

B2MeM 21012 Participant

 

Following an unlikely victory, a new age begins; darkness grows again slowly until it hits home.

 

This chapter fits the following B2MeM 2012 prompts:

Artifacts & Weapons - B7: Narsil
Powers & Underpowers - B7: Irmo (Lórien): nightmare
This Means War! - N41: Sauron vs. Isildur
Weapons & Warfare - I27: Mace
Archery in Arda - B6: Wood elves of Mirkwood
Emotions - G59: Hope

B2MeM 21012 Participant

 

Erestor is not happy about the decision to send Frodo to destroy the Ring in the fires of Orodruin. Eönwë makes plans.

 

Special thanks to SurgicalSteel for her invaluable advice on knife injuries.

 

This chapter fits the following B2MeM 2012 prompt:

Discoveries - G51: Songs of Power

B2MeM 21012 Participant

 

The two ages of Eönwë’s banishment come to an end.

 

This chapter fits the following B2MeM 2012 prompts:

Emotions - B1: Joy
Emotions - I21: Awe

B2MeM 21012 Participant

 

Eönwë travels to Ithilien, before paying another visit to the Moritarnon.

 

This chapter fits the following B2MeM 2012 prompts:

Controversial Topics - O72: Do Balrogs have wings?
Powers and Underpowers - B15: Námo (Mandos): fear of the dead/ghost

B2MeM 21012 Participant

 

Eönwë stands again before Manwë, and a doom is spoken (aka “all you ever wanted to tell Manwë and Námo to their faces but never dared to.”) This story finally reaches the end... for now.

A diamond-encrusted gold medal goes to elfscribe, who betaed this chapter twice in full and many other times in portions, because I tweaked and tweaked and kept tweaking. Thank you so much, my dear. You’ve made it all possible.

Thank you also to the bunch of assorted reptilians at the Lizard Council who encouraged me, offered great advice and feedback, and gorged on nits over the two years it’s taken me to travel this journey.

 

This chapter fits the following B2MeM 2012 prompt:

Controversial Topics - B7: Nothing is evil in the beginning...

B2MeM 21012 Participant

 

Entries in italics are described or listed in at least one of the Tolkien canon sources given below.

Dates are given as “year, age” and may differ in some cases from those listed in the “Tale of Years” in The Lord of the Rings, if the events have followed the version described in Unfinished Tales or The History of Middle-earth.

Warning: it may contain mild spoilers!

 

This story takes place in a variety of settings, spanning several ages of Arda. Inevitably, an assortment of terms and names from several languages has made its way into the tale.

For consistency I have assumed all along that Eönwë speaks Quenya in his inner narrative, even if he is likely to be addressing someone in a different language, like Sindarin, during a particular scene.

For Yucatec, on which the invented language of Kiinlúum is based, I have relied on the “Diccionario español - maya en línea” to find words, some of which I have used without modification, while in other cases I have adapted them or combined them to create my own names or terms.

 


Comments

The Silmarillion Writers' Guild is more than just an archive--we are a community! If you enjoy a fanwork or enjoy a creator's work, please consider letting them know in a comment.


Fantastic chapter. I really enjoyed the descriptions of his experience of being confined to a body as opposed to borrowing one for limited periods of time. Certain parts really made me grin: that his own chosen body vs. the one he was given had been taller and with a bigger voice! But I have to be honest with you the idea of him polishing his sword several times a day really cracked me up, especially given the tone of his description of the experience. I greatly appreciated his musings on the Valar's interference in sexual mores of the First Born without any concrete experience of what they are legislating.

Looking forward to more.

Truly glad you enjoyed it. oshun. It was even more fun to write it, the POV of this story has made me stretch my imagination in all kinds of fascinating ways. In this chapter, well, the new toy had to be discovered... ;o) About the Valar... well, let´s say that this is only the beginning.

Thank you for taking the time to review!  

 

This is a riveting story. I love the entire conception and am absolutely dying to know what comes next. I still haven't quite got past the brilliance of this pairing, which still leaves me breathless and on the edge of my seat: Eönwë and Mairon! You're handling it beautifully.

Wow, thank you, oshun ** blushes to the roots of hair **. These first chapters are just setting the background, and I hope the rest of the story will not disappoint you. It is my first ever slash, and I will be very pleased if the pairing still works for you once they get to the crucial bits. I would love to know what you think then. ;o)

Priceless. I loved the idea of knowing how something should be done, but having to train the new body which has never done it. Even muscle memory goes so far if one has not kept in shape. (I don't know who I like best in this story, Mairon or Eönwë. I always loved to hate Eönwë before I read Keiliss "Cultural Differences" here. Nothing like seeing a villain rendered with likeable aspects and a gods or demi-god's clay feet exposed. Such stories never get old if done right.

Love the Mayan references. Great fun. I've often thought of doing a Numenorean last-days scenario overlaid with Aztec imagery and practices. Nothing new under the sun as they say. Can't beat comparisons between myths and legends of disparate cultures (or with imaginary ones!). One of the things I liked so much in Kushner's Fall of the Kings. (More on that privately.)

Another great chapter. You are on a roll with this story.

Thank you oshun, I am so chuffed that you are following this story and that you like my characters (they are like new-found relatives by now, so I am starting to become protective, he, he!).

I have not tried to replicate the whole of the Mayan/Aztec culture in Kiinluum, only stolen some of the symbology plus the language, instead of failing to invent my own. Yes, LOL, I have also thought of borrowing some of the Aztec sacrifice visuals when we get to the days in Numenor, we'll see... Fall of the Kings - beautiful blending of the story with stag myths.

About muscle memory, Eonwe did not have it yet, that is the funny thing. I enjoyed imagining what he could and could not do, aren't I wicked? I truly hope you keep enjoying Mirages when we move into the Dark SideTM. ;o)

 

There's so much to love about this story.  I'm really enjoying Eonwe's sensual awakening, his naivete, his desire to bring his old flame to the truth, when in fact Mairon is working his own spell counter to Eonwe's efforts at persuasion.  Your description of Eonwe's learning about his new hroa is marvelous.  His difficulties and frustration learning to fight in this chapter were amusing.  But what I really love in this chapter is Mairon's rant about light versus darkness.  It defines his character beautifully and is so well expressed: ‘Light it is, not darkness, that casts shadows to lead one astray. Light can unveil truth or mask lies behind its beauty.’  Makes sense. It seems that Mairon is turning Eonwe's whole world upside down, convincing him literally that white is black. Eonwe doesn't stand a chance. 

You have made my day, elfscribe, and taken a huge weight off my mind. I feared I would not be able to pull these chapters together in the ways you had suggested.

About the light/darkness, I cannot imagine Melkor being crudely dark or ugly, the tired stereotype of a villain, at least not originally. He must have been dazzling bright, mighty and exquisitely beautiful to others of his kind, and his offer of sharing his knowledge must have been irresistible for one who hoards it like Mairon. A mirage of a differnt making, is now buing built in front of Eonwe's eyes. I will have them both chasing mirages, poor guys.

Thanks for your support, and for this wonderful review. They both mean a lot to me.

 

 

Ah, ebbingnight, there is several reasons for that too. I could say it is their typical "hands off" approach when things go pearshaped, let someone else fix the problem. But there is a bit more, I am afraid you will have to wait a while to find out.

Glad you are following this story, I hope you are enjoying it. Thanks for your comment!

 

Your Mairon is a smooth operator for sure, even down to his bits of rage.  He has played Eonwe beautifully.  You've done a great job here of showing Mairon's seduction, along with a feast for the senses, coupled with Eonwe's fluttering wonderings, his struggle between fleshy desires and his rather naive moral sense.  I am falling under your seductive spell myself. Great stuff!

Thank you, elfscribe, I am so happy it works for you!

Yes, Eonwe is naive for sure, because until his ordeal began I imagine he was aloof and very distant from the real world - the Ainur in their ivory tower, and he always met the Children in his guise as a superior being, never as an equal, or worse still, as someone learning the ropes (!) as he does now. Also, he wants to see goodness in Sauron. I have built this fic on the premises that Sauron may have actually repented at first, as Tolkien suggests: "And some hold that this was not at first falsely done, but that Sauron in truth repented, if only out of fear, being dismayed by the fall of Morgoth and the great wrath of the Lords of the West."

The balance of this repentance is precarious, at the very least, and we all know how it goes, eventually...

Thanks again for the wonderful review.

 

He, he, I am truly flattered! I think calling Eonwe's learnings the "fruit of knowledge" is not so far off the mark, for one who has mostly lived as one of the clueless Ainur in the bliss of Aman. But If Mairon reminds you of a snake, then I am so pleased - I got him right!

Thanks for following Eonwe's adventures and for your review, ebbingnight. Both are most appreciated. You will be glad to know, I hope, that there is a lot more to come.

 

Thank you, Sare! I am thrilled that you are liking it. I have invested a long time in building the story up to get us where we are so that it all makes some sense, but I'm glad you are sticking to it, and I truly hope you enjoy what comes next... ;o)

I truly appreciate your review, it is good to know I am on the right track.

 

.... mine must have surely betrayed my wonder and incredulity at what he had done. Somehow, he had linked his fëa to mine at the peak of our pleasure to elevate us both to the highest level of consciousness of our kin, forbidden to me within my hröa.

Oh, dear. Even if Eönwë weren't nearly as naïve as he is about the ways of the flesh, this would be likely to bring anyone back for more. So now we have a pretty good notion of what sexual addiction would be like for the Maiar! I wonder whether it will prove equally addictive for Mairon....

Well, yes, there had to be a carrot somewhere, and Eönwë has found it (as well as the stick, LOL!). I hope there is no doubt that Mairon delivered his promise.

You are spot on, ebbingnight, the first-person POV masks many things that are going on with Mairon, mainly because he plays his ambiguous game so that you never know with certainty what is in his mind. An omniscent narrator would spoil the fun of this story! I hope you "enjoyed" it from Eönwë's eyes...

Thanks very much for sticking with the story, and for the review!

 

 

 

Hi, Ebbingnight, don't worry, the Valar have not finished with Eonwe yet. They are probably busy with all the elves that died during the Battles of Beleriand being released in a trickle from Mandos, that's all.

I am pleased you liked this chapter, it was a bit of a rest for all concerned, me included, LOL. Thank for reviewing!

 

This has been in my to-read list for a while because I found the concept intriguing (as well as the pairing). I find myself really liking your Eönwë and your writing style. You managed to make me laugh during an otherwise dramatic moment (Námo announcing Eönwë's doom). Even though I know how Sauron's fate turns up I'm really looking forward to reading the story. It's Eönwë's fate I'm so curious about, and how he'll influence (or not) the Second and Third (if he's still there) Ages.

And because I'm a Fëanorian fangirl, I hope he manages to persuade Maglor to come home :P

Hi Alasse, thanks very much for your review, it is great to welcome a new reader! Yes, both the topic and the pairing are unusual. I hope to build a whole story behind Sauron's actions, seen through Eonwe's eyes, based on the quote at the beginning of the first chapter, which suggests Sauron actually repented... for a while. As for Maglor, I have some ideas, yes, but I'm afraid it will be literally ages before they meet up. I won't give anything else away just now, just read on... and I hope you keep enjoying it. Thanks again!

Oh, yes, well and truly pwned. He got far more than he bargained for, because who would go and throw himself into power games against the Dark Lord himself *** evil cackle ***? Well, I hope you enjoyed it, this chapter was certainly a hoot to write. Thank you very much for reading and for your review, Ebbingnight!

Eönwë acted like a kid with a new toy with his body. I enjoyed reading it and dread the day he'll discover the painful side (as you showed, it's one thing intellectually knowing about certain aspects and another to actually experience them). Interesting that bit about LACE... it's true, the Valar can make laws about sexuality but they don't really know what they're talking about. Except maybe Mandos? 

I'm wondering whether Eönwë has learned how to hide his emotions. So far I picture him having a very expressive face...

Funny how he almost drowned ::lol:: Now that would be embarrassing

::goes off to read the next chapter::

 

My intention was to leave a review for each chapter. I failed. I couldn't stop reading until I got to the end and by that point I was so utterly speechless I didn't know what to write. No hay palabras ni en inglés ni en castellano para expresar cuánto me gusta la historia :D

want to trust Sauron, just like Eönwë wants to. Of course I can't, knowing what we know of Sauron's deeds in the Second and Third Ages. That makes it almost painful to read. I'm afraid Eönwë has no idea what he's gotten into. I'm also afraid he'd go through something similar to what Sauron went through at Morgoth's side. And where are the Valar in all this? He seems to have been abandoned. That reminds me; I enjoyed the hot scenes as much as the "normal" interaction between the two. The conversations they had about the Valar, light and darkness... very interesting.

Looking forward to your next update :)

I wanted to create that ambiguity that would make the reader wish to trust Sauron, same as Eonwe does. Writing in first person, getting into Sauron's head through Eonwe's eyes is tricky, but I'm glad it's working. Yes, Eonwe's seduction is similar to Sauron's, at least to start with, but there is a key difference, you'll have to wait a little. I am amazed you managed to read the whole lot in one sitting, Chica, me pones colorada! I am bouncing up and down with delight about you liking the hot scenes, you've made my day.

Thank you for the review!

Well, here's a disturbing thought: from the traditional perspective, wouldn't Síináan be considered the hero of this, given that he is the only one (besides Nikteháa perhaps) who apparently sees Mairon for what he is (and is willing to speak up about it in hopes of averting yet another disaster)? So what does that make Eönwë, who says himself that he's becoming increasingly bereft of all coherent thought, thanks to this continuous immersion in mithril-chained power plays?

Ah, yes, a perspective worth considering, ebbingnight, disturbing or not. Síináan may have a point. You have the hindsight of knowing what Mairon will be up to in the future, while Eönwë and these guys don't have that information, and whatever dark intentions Mairon may have in his heart (and who says what they might be?), all Eönwë can do is to rely on the evidence of his deeds during their days together. How can you determine that someone is evil? Surely not by what goes in their head because no one can see that... well, maybe the Valar think they can!

I hope you are enjoying the story (even despite the mithril-chained power games...). Thank you for your review!

 

 

Interestingly, although this is dark indeed and although I am certainly still viewing Eönwë as my "hero," I can't think that this is the worst that could happen. After all, Mairon is Sauron, and the others here are quite right to fear and hate what he's done to their king, consenting or not. I agree that Eönwë is not entirely to blame for this "terrible error" (if "error" it is, which I'm not sure about, either!)  And Manwë should be having serious second thoughts about how far Eönwë himself has allowed himself to fall, now that his "mission" seems to have failed.

Yet another wonderful chapter in this absorbing story!

Hi, ebbingnight! I am thrilled with your review, and I hope you keep spoiling me so, because it's great to know I am hooking you with this story.

No, indeed this is not the worst that can happen, but to Eonwe, it seems so. Definitely, he's the hero of our story and deserves better. I won't comment on the rest of that paragraph or I may be tempted to give you spoilers. Hang on in there for a while...

Thank you very much for reading and for letting me know you enjoy it!

 

I really like the conversation between Eönwë, Mairon and Nikteháa. What Mairon said about the Edain... either he was right or he made it so he'd be right but anyway, it showed the Valar don't understand the Secondborn.

Eönwë acting as Findaráto? I just had to laugh at what would be Finarfin's expression if he ever found that out!

Mairon is a Maia of great power, and he certainly knows how to manipulate people. But in this case I believe he is merely applying simple logic. The point about the Valar not understanding the Second-born, or the First-born, for that matter, is spot on, and caused no end of grief. This is not a Valar-friendly fic, you have probably realised by now, and there will be more.

Eönwë acting as Findaráto? Well, I could not pass the opportunity of describing Mairon's roleplaying games, could I? Plus they show how much Eönwë would do to please Mairon.

Thanks for your review Alasse, I'm very happy you are enjoying their antics.

You are right, we know what happens to Annatar in the end, we have an unfair advantage, but Eönwë does not, and his grief is real. I felt guilty writing this part of the story. As to the relationship after this, you don't really want tme to spoil it for you, do you?

Thanks very much for reading and reviewing, Alasse, it makes my day to know you are following the story and enjoying it!

 

Ah, yes... This is the man who deceived the Elves of Eregion and caused the ruin of Numenor by giving himself as a hostage. So I wanted to portray that deviousness. I am pleased you didn't see it coming (though there were some clues) and that you are enjoying the story. Thanks for reading and for dropping by to leave me a review!