The Condensed Silmarillion by Cheeky

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Sing, sing a song.


Finrod and Beren, ( and their woefully inadequate for attacking Morgoth Gang) set off.

They came across some Orcs who they killed, as you do. But they didn't stop there. They borrowed their gear, (how did it fit?) and then it turned out Finrod had a hidden talent for " Making people look like Orcs". Not a very useful talent to have in the usual way of things, no wonder he kept it quiet until now....... Or did he? Maybe he wasn't charismatic and charming at all, Maybe he got people to do what he said by making them look like an orc if they didn't?

Finrod: "Go clean the toilet or I will make you look like an orc"
Elf: " yes Sir, right away Sir!"

Maybe he did it for kicks when he was drunk.

So Finrod made them all look like Orcs and they marched on trying to sneak up on Morgoth. Unfortunately they marched straight past Sauron's outpost and neglected to report in about their Orc duties. Shame on you Finrod, you are a Leader. You should at least know a bit about army protocol.

Sauron wasn't having any Orcs ignore him and captured them. Now we haven't seen much of Sauron until now. He seems to have rather a lot to learn about being an evil minion at this point, I think perhaps Morgoth gets him some extra tutorage in this before the Ring War.

I also wonder if he was maybe not quite the full quid. A sandwich short of a picnic so to speak. As far as he knew he had just captured some disobedient orcs. They needed to be punished of course. Discipline is everything in an evil army. So he forces them to..........enter into a singing contest.......ok then.

And now the mystery of the singing orcs is solved. They could sing! They had to sing because Sauron obviously kept an iron rod of control by randomly forcing impromptu singalongs on them. Poor Orcs marching along, doing their Orc business and Sauron leaps out from behind the bushes, yelling " Sing. Now!!!!"

Oh Dear, Sauron, are you sure being an evil sidekick is your best career move?

So Finrod and Sauron had the worlds most awesome singing duel. If Sauron was surprised to find an Orc could sing so well he doesn't say. Sauron won, Finrod collapsed and the Orc disguises disappeared.

Now Morgoth for some time had been a bit obsessed about the whereabouts of Finrod and Turgon. He didn't know where they were hiding and he wanted to. Something was up with those two and he wanted to know all the details. Don't we all, Morgoth, don't we all. He had spies combing the surroundings searching for any sign of them. Yet he seems not to have passed this information on to Sauron.

Perhaps Morgoth too realised Sauron was a bit intellectually challenged.

So when the Orc disguises vanished and Sauron could see who Finrod, Beren and their woefully inadequate for attacking Morgoth gang really were he didn't recognise Finrod.

Really???

How many golden haired Noldor were there wandering around Middle Earth at this time? Not many I can tell you. Remember Glorfindel was locked away in Gondolin. So Finrod is on Morgoth's most wanted list, Sauron discovers an elf with golden hair and still doesn't put two and two together??

Morgoth, do you have any other options for a second in command? I think perhaps you should consider a recruitment drive.


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