The Condensed Silmarillion by Cheeky

Goodbye Finrod

Goodbye Finrod.

Finrod, Beren and co were thrown in Sauron's dungeon and here starts the most horrendous incident in the Silmarillion. I know the book is full of horrendous incidents but honestly this one takes the cake.
What could be worse than waiting in a dungeon while werewolves come in every now and then and randomly eat you one at a time.

Sauron wanted to keep Finrod for last. I think he had plans to train him up as a soloist in one of his orc choirs but Finrod was having none of it. He fulfilled his vow by throwing himself to the wolves thus saving Beren. Now is the time to realise you have completely stuffed things up Beren and maybe giving Finrod back his ring might be appropriate also.......oh I see you haven't done that.

And there endeth Finrod. We will all miss him. No one more so than Turgon.

But wait..... There's more....

Finrod ended up on a fast track through the afterlife and found himself lined up before Mandos to receive his judgement.

Mandos: Finrod. So good to see you. May I say how pleased we all are with you. You have truly been our golden boy on Arda.

Finrod: Um... Are you sure, because on reflection I think I was a bit wild there for a while. A lot of things have become clear now that I am dead and I......

Mandos: oh yes, yes, Manwë has it all written down here in his brief. He has been keeping a careful watch from behind his mountains. Now let's see....oh yes, you made friends with the dwarves, Aulë was especially pleased about that.

Finrod: The dwarves washed their hands of me because I stole all their jewellery.

Mandos: ....and you welcomed the Men so nicely, that was just charming.

Finrod: So you didn't hear about the impersonating a Valar thing? To tell the truth I have been a bit worried about that...

Mandos: .....and the way you facilitated their acceptance into Elven society. Wonderful!...

Finrod: I sold them into slavery...

Mandos: ...and you have kept yourself chaste all these years cherishing Amaire's memory....

Finrod: Are you serious??? How could Ulmo not have told you about Turgon and the river?

Mandos: ....even when that meant you didn't have a son to inherit your kingdom. So self sacrificing...

Finrod: Ah, so haven't heard about Gildor either then, why am I not surprised. Look here. I really think there seems to have been a bit of a misunderstanding .......

Mandos:....... and so Finrod, we have decided to reward you. We are going to send you back!

At this Finrod's ears perked up, he leaned forward excitedly, " Back? Really? How about going back to Gondolin? I am sure they could do with a golden haired champion!"

Mandos shook his head, " No they already have one of those. Anyway this is a reward, not a punishment. We are sending you back to Valinor! You can finally be reunited with the lovely Amarië !!"

" What!!!" cried Finrod, " Are you mad???? I don't want Amarië, Why do you think I left her behind? It's Turgon I want, Turgon, Turgon!!! Will you just listen to me......"

And so Finrod was dragged off kicking and screaming, shouting Turgon's name.

But Mandos didn't listen. After all Finrod's screams were screams of joy surely.... Who wouldn't want to spend the rest of eternity in Valinor with the Valar? They were all just begging to come back.... Right?