The Condensed Silmarillion by Cheeky

Turin

Turin was the Worlds most miserable Man.

He was someone it didn't pay to get too close to, because Turin had an unfortunate habit of killing people accidentally. Stand next to Turin and suddenly....oops......your dead!

Turin was the Son of Hurin, (told you names were not Mans' strong point) who was, for most of Turin's life, held captive due to his self sacrificing, "Let's let Turgon escape", antics.
Turin ending up living with Thingol in Doriath and somehow, despite the fact Thingol had an intense Man allergy up to this point, this all magically changes with the arrival of Turin and Thingol oddly develops a massive blind spot towards him.

Not sure what you were doing there Tolkien? Having spent the entire book convincing us Thingol likes nobody outside his little enchanted forest suddenly he thinks Turin is the best thing since sliced bread because his "mood had changed" What is going on? Has he just been pre-menstrual for the last several thousand years or something??

Unfortunately Turin hanging around Doriath didn't turn out well for at least one of Thingol's elves. Saeros was his name. As far as elves go he was a rather grumpy, sulky one.

He got into a food fight with Turin at dinner one night and ended up being grievously hurt by a flying drinking vessel. Told you.....stay well away from Turin. Who else could grievously injure someone with something as innocuous as a drinking vessel.

Tolkien doesn't go into detail about Saeros's drinking vessel injuries. Possibly because he realised it WAS rather hard to come up with something serious a drinking vessel could actually do to you......so he just settles for letting us know it was definitely grievous.

However not that grievous......because the next day Saeros was up and about and waylaying Turin in the woods. I know elves heal well but you know......supposedly grievously injured, you would think he would at least take the chance to spend the next day in bed.

The waylaying went about as well as the food fight and ended up with Turin stripping him of his clothes and chasing him naked through the woods. Maybe Turin just wanted to try get himself a bit of Elf Action but he obviously wasn't Saeros's type.
Take the hint Turin. He is running away in terror.....this usually means he is not that keen.

Saeros was so terrified he ran off a cliff and into a inappropriately placed chasm. This meant he has the honor of becoming the first of Turin's accidental killings. The first of many.

Turin having heard that Thingol, up till now, hadn't been the worlds most reasonable Elf did a runner going off to join a band of the worlds worst outlaws.......as you do.

He obviously forgot about Thingol's unexpected, unexplained, random mood change because Thingol, against all probability, pardoned him.

He killed an elf, Thingol....... Accidentally I know, but still.......... You spend thousands of years hating on the Noldor, never forgiving them, but Turin gets a Get Out of Jail Free card??

Ok. Own up. Who has stolen Thingol and replaced him with this Thingol impersonator?

Who is it??