The Condensed Silmarillion by Cheeky

A bit of Cultural Confusion

There weren't just Elves at The Battle of Unnumbered Tears. Some Men were floating around as well

Hurin and Huor were two of them. ( Men were really bad at names, and you thought the Fins were bad....)

Hurin and Huor stumbled across Turgon wallowing in misery amidst the battle. "Turgon, what are you doing?" They cried.
" Sorry I am not in the mood for talking " was Turgon's reply, " I have just found out my soulmate is dead. I need some alone time..."
" Fingon was your soulmate?" asked Huor, rather confused.
" No you idiot!! Fingon was my brother..... What strange customs you Men must have. Fingon was Maedhros's soulmate, everyone knows that! My soulmate was someone else....anyway he is dead now...just leave me alone."

"I think I will make a prophecy. That's sure to cheer you up, nothing an elf likes better than a good prophecy so I have heard" announced Huor.
" Finrod made a prophecy" mumbled Turgon.
" yes well, not sure how that's relevant. Mine will be better. If we join together a star will be born. At least I think that's how it goes...."

" Look, thanks for the proposition" sighed Turgon " and nothing personal but I am just not in the mood for joining with anyone right now. Also we are in the middle of a battlefield, I am not sure what kind of things Men get up to but isn't that a little bit inappropriate?...... Anyway, a baby born from you and I? How would that even work?? Is there something about Mens anatomy I am not understanding? I know I wear robes but you do know I am a guy... Right?"

" Not you and I." Huor shook his head with frustration " must I explain everything in detail? I thought elves were intelligent and big on this prophecy stuff. My son...your daughter....get it now?"

" Have you met my daughter?" Asked Turgon. He was disbelieving. " Because she has a rather high opinion of herself, and anyway moody Maeglin is after her, I am not sure your plan is going to work"

Hurin lost patience with this inane conversation and butted in " Turgon, you need to get out of here. You are King of the Noldor now, you should make a run for it. We will cover your escape and fight to our deaths. After all you Elves are so much better than us, the best we can hope for is the opportunity to throw our lives away letting you do a runner"

"Well far be it from me to prevent your dramatic sacrifice, I'll be off" and Turgon gathered his 10,000 elves and ran away. I am not sure why the humans had to get themselves killed enabling him to escape when he had his own elves who could have done that for him.

They marched all the way back to Gondolin with no one noticing.
Now say what you like about Turgon. He may be boring but boy was he good at sneaking around undetected. How anyone can march an army miles across country without being noticed is beyond me.

And Hurin and Huor did fight to their deaths. Well Huor did.
Hurin was captured and survived..............but I bet he wishes he d