The Condensed Silmarillion by Cheeky

The End of the End of Turin

The End of the End of Turin.

When Turin stumbled across Nienor lying naked on top of Finduilas's tomb he was a bit taken aback. 
Why was she on Finduilas's tomb? you ask. I have no idea.

She was still conveniently ensorcelled and couldn't remember a thing so Turin helpfully took it upon himself to give her a new name. In case you hadn't noticed Turin had a bit of a thing about names.
Not wanting to break the theme of names mired in deep depression he called her Tear Maiden. Not Sunshine or Joy. No it had to be Tear Maiden. Níniel for short. 

He found some local woodsmen who could tolerate him and took Níniel there. The woodsmen somehow found the time to teach her how to speak. Apparently, and very strangely, there were no orcs around..........maybe that's because there was a Dragon hiding out just down the road and even orcs aren't keen on Dragons......or maybe it is just because with Turin there to create havoc and drama why did Morgoth need to waste any of his precious orcs on the area.

Turin chose this very inconvenient time to turn romantic and begged Níniel to marry him. She was wise and turned him down the first time but he just wouldn't give up. 
( Turin.....she's your sister!) 
Smart woman though, she made sure she got a good behaviour bond before she said "I do." She made Turin promise he wouldn't go fighting orcs unless the orcs came to him. He had to stay home. No going off gallivanting to the pub for Turin.

So Turin sat on his backside while the Woodsmen who had been so nice to him were slaughtered and they weren't best pleased about that.

Gaudring the psychotherapist having heard that Turin's life had taken a turn for the worst....incestuous marriage etc.... Came out of his cave of gold to try and track Turin down. Obviously only intending to complete his counselling.

Turin found him first and, wanting to avoid having to pay the bill, stabbed him.............hence one dead Dragon.

But Dragons take a looooong time to die. During his dying Glaudring found the time to:

A. Fly haphazardly across a chasm.
B. Spill venomous blood on Turin and knock him unconscious.
C. Casually inform Neinor/Níniel of her family tree and the fact she had accidently ended up married to her brother.
D.Finally give up the ghost but not before one last spiel about all Turin's bad points.

Nienor didn't take the news well. She threw herself off a cliff. The end of a very miserable life for Nienor. Of all Tolkien's incredibly unlucky, mainly dead female characters Nienor possibly had the worst luck.

Turin also was slightly upset at this development. He took his sword, ( Beleg's sword remember.) and started talking to it. 
What was really surprising is the sword started talking back.

Who knew all this time Beleg had a talking sword.
Not Beleg that's for sure.

Not only a talking sword but a talking sword with feelings. 
It turns out it was rather unhappy at having been used to kill it's old master.

Not only a talking sword with feelings but a talking sword with feelings who was very persuasive.
It managed to convince Turin that letting it kill him so it could forget about killing Beleg was a totally brilliant and completely sane idea.

He went along with it.

End of Turin.

Finally!