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The face of a humanoid wearing a head kerchief

Preferred Name: Azh

Preferred Pronouns: they or he

Member since 16 November 2020.

About Me

I am an avid reader and writer of queer fantasy and a long-time Tolkien nerd who recently got into the Silmarillion.  Now I seem to be writing an inordinate amount of fanfiction for it, featuring an awful lot of Maglor and Sauron, because I only like trash fires.  Expect lots of explorations of gender and the occasional treatise on entropy or the philosophy of science (I sunlight as a physicist.)

Mertiya (AdmirableMonster) on AO3 and my personal website, admirablemonster on Discord (usually).  


Fanworks by AdmirableMonster

This is a Series fanworkPennas Pengolodh by AdmirableMonster

The majority of the Silmarillion was penned by a single Elf--an Elf who was so thoroughly written out as to appear only through the ways in which their perspective shaped the stories we see. This is their story, the historian's history, the Pennas Pengolodh.

Major Characters: Pengolodh, Salgant, Gil-galad, Dírhavel
Major Relationships: Pengolodh & Salgant, Gil-galad & Pengolodh, Dírhavel + Pengolodh
Genres: Drama Challenges:
Rating: Warnings:
Posted on 30 June 2024 Updated on 22 November 2024
This fanwork is a work in progress.
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This is a Writing fanworkHavens by AdmirableMonster

The Exiles of Gondolin come to Sirion.  The residents of Sirion welcome them, and friendship blossoms between the last remaining loremaster of Gondolin and a young poet of Sirion.

Major Characters: Dírhavel, Pengolodh
Major Relationships: Dírhavel + Pengolodh
Genres: Challenges: Potluck Bingo
Rating: General Warnings:
Chapters: 9 Word Count: 4, 037
Posted on 22 November 2024 Updated on 22 November 2024
This fanwork is complete.
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This is a Writing fanworkShapes in the Mist by AdmirableMonster

A young Orc on a spirit quest walks through the memories of her people.

Major Characters: Original Female Character(s)
Major Relationships: Original Character & Original Character
Genres: Drama Challenges: Orctober
Rating: Teens Warnings: Creator Chooses Not to Warn
Chapters: 2 Word Count: 979
Posted on 18 October 2024 Updated on 22 October 2024
This fanwork is a work in progress.
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This is a Writing fanworkThe Children of Angband by AdmirableMonster

This is a history that has never been told. Those whom it concerns most deeply are dead now, even those who chose or otherwise received the lifespans of Elves. It is a story that has been kept hidden for more than six thousand years. Now, I believe it is past time it should be revealed.

Major Characters: Pengolodh, Gil-galad
Major Relationships: Gil-galad & Pengolodh
Genres: In-Universe Artifact Challenges:
Rating: Teens Warnings: Creator Chooses Not to Warn
Chapters: 1 Word Count: 2, 252
Posted on 22 October 2024 Updated on 22 October 2024
This fanwork is complete.
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This is a Writing fanworkFar is the high gods' song and low by AdmirableMonster

As Númenor convulses in its death throws, Tar-Míriel converses with a friendly soul before she climbs the Meneltarma to her fate.

Major Characters: Tar-Míriel, Original Character(s)
Major Relationships: Tar-Míriel & Original Character
Genres: Challenges: Kings & Queens
Rating: Adult Warnings: Check Notes for Warnings
Chapters: 1 Word Count: 2, 185
Posted on 17 August 2024 Updated on 17 August 2024
This fanwork is complete.
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This is a Series fanworkThe Light and the Sea (Steampunk Númenor) by AdmirableMonster

Largely focused on Númenor, its fall, and the aftermath, as seen from the perspective of two Mannish scientists, bit players in some ways, but who nonetheless cast their shadows across the history of Middle Earth.

Major Characters: Original Character(s), Unnamed Canon Character(s)
Major Relationships: Original Character/Original Character, Unnamed Canon Character/Original Character
Genres: Science Fiction Challenges:
Rating: Warnings:
Posted on 9 June 2024 Updated on 17 August 2024
This fanwork is a work in progress.
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This is a Writing fanworkReflections by AdmirableMonster

A story of three friends in Númenor, one of whom attracts the attention of the High Priest.  What does friendship mean in the shadow of the Black Temple?

Major Characters: Unnamed Canon Character(s), Original Character(s)
Major Relationships: Original Character & Unnamed Canon Character
Genres: Science Fiction Challenges: Bollywood
Rating: Teens Warnings: Creator Chooses Not to Warn
Chapters: 1 Word Count: 3, 802
Posted on 18 July 2024 Updated on 18 July 2024
This fanwork is complete.
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This is a Writing fanworkI called it Fate that I should fail by AdmirableMonster

Nimruzimir, a natural philosopher recently out of his apprenticeship, hardly considers himself very important to anyone, least of all his colleagues.  When his strange, prophetic fits bring him to the attention of the High Priest, however, he may find that his existence is less superfluous than he had originally thought. 

 

Major Characters: Original Character(s), Unnamed Canon Character(s), Sauron
Major Relationships: Unnamed Canon Character/Original Character, Original Character & Unnamed Canon Character, Sauron & Unnamed Canon Character
Genres: Hurt/Comfort, Science Fiction Challenges:
Rating: Adult Warnings: Expletive Language, In-Universe Intolerance, Mature Themes, Torture
Chapters: 1 Word Count: 10, 225
Posted on 9 June 2024 Updated on 15 July 2024
This fanwork is complete.
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This is a Writing fanworkThose whom Doom will not release by AdmirableMonster

As the refugees regroup in the first aftermath of the Fall of Gondolin, one loremaster survives and tries to understand.

Major Characters: Pengolodh, Salgant
Major Relationships: Pengolodh & Salgant
Genres: Drama Challenges:
Rating: Teens Warnings: Creator Chooses Not to Warn
Chapters: 1 Word Count: 1, 974
Posted on 1 July 2024 Updated on 1 July 2024
This fanwork is complete.
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This is a Writing fanworkWe are not lost in the mortal city by AdmirableMonster

Gil-galad and Círdan arrive at the Mouth of Sirion, too late.

Major Characters: Gil-galad, Pengolodh
Major Relationships: Gil-galad & Pengolodh
Genres: Drama Challenges:
Rating: Teens Warnings: Violence (Graphic)
Chapters: 1 Word Count: 1, 892
Posted on 30 June 2024 Updated on 30 June 2024
This fanwork is a work in progress.
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This is a Writing fanworkHarp and Liar by AdmirableMonster

Stinging from his defeat in a musical competition at the Mereth Aderthad, Maglor unexpectedly makes friends with a deaf child.

Major Characters: Maglor, Pengolodh, Salgant
Major Relationships: Pengolodh & Salgant, Maglor & Pengolodh
Genres: Family Challenges:
Rating: General Warnings: In-Universe Intolerance
Chapters: 1 Word Count: 2, 773
Posted on 28 June 2024 Updated on 29 June 2024
This fanwork is complete.
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This is a Writing fanworkEsse Nuquerna by AdmirableMonster

Nimruzimir's father interrupts him while he is reading the most recent novel in his favorite series.

Major Characters: Original Character(s), Other Fictional Character(s), Unnamed Canon Character(s)
Major Relationships:
Genres: Crossover, Science Fiction Challenges: Crossroads of the Fallen King, Funky 70s, Tengwar
Rating: General Warnings: In-Universe Intolerance
Chapters: 1 Word Count: 961
Posted on 15 June 2024 Updated on 15 June 2024
This fanwork is complete.
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This is a Writing fanworkThe Strands that Bind by AdmirableMonster

Merry Brandybuck and Estella Bolger named their first child Boromir, after the hero of the War of the Ring. But the young hobbit's dearest secret is the name she wishes she had. One quiet day, after finding an unusual necklace in the cellar, she begins to see visions of an ancient past that whisper to her of ways she might heal a poisoned pond that has never recovered since the Scouring of the Shire. Can she unlock the secrets of a long-ago chemister and his lover and find the courage to stay true to herself along the way?

Major Characters: Original Character(s), Unnamed Canon Character(s)
Major Relationships: Unnamed Canon Character/Original Character, Original Character & Original Character, Sauron & Original Character
Genres: Science Fiction Challenges:
Rating: Teens Warnings: Creator Chooses Not to Warn
Chapters: 11 Word Count: 26, 554
Posted on 9 June 2024 Updated on 10 June 2024
This fanwork is complete.
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This is a Writing fanworkOh where is the sun by AdmirableMonster

Lilóteo, the erstwhile Royal Physician of the Númenorean court, is waiting to be sacrificed when he receives a strange visitor.

Written for the prompt "And the Empire grows, the seeds of its glory, for every five tanks, plant a sentimental story" + manekimi's OC Death and Sauron or others

Major Characters: Original Character(s)
Major Relationships: Original Character & Original Character
Genres: Hurt/Comfort Challenges:
Rating: Adult Warnings: Creator Chooses Not to Warn
Chapters: 1 Word Count: 1, 063
Posted on 9 June 2024 Updated on 9 June 2024
This fanwork is complete.
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This is a Writing fanworkHistory abandons us by AdmirableMonster

During his incarceration in Roderick Burgess' basement, Dream receives a strange, ancient visitor.

Major Characters: Other Fictional Character(s), Lórien, Thranduil
Major Relationships: Lórien & Thranduil
Genres: Crossover Challenges: Crossroads of the Fallen King
Rating: Teens Warnings: Violence (Mild)
Chapters: 1 Word Count: 980
Posted on 18 May 2024 Updated on 18 May 2024
This fanwork is complete.
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This is a Writing fanworkWords of Wisdom by AdmirableMonster

One or more drabbles about Pengolodh and his babysitter Salgant.

Major Characters: Pengolodh, Salgant
Major Relationships: Pengolodh & Salgant
Genres: Ficlet Challenges: Tengwar
Rating: Teens Warnings: Creator Chooses Not to Warn
Chapters: 4 Word Count: 418
Posted on 3 May 2024 Updated on 5 May 2024
This fanwork is a work in progress.
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This is a Writing fanworkLes Mots de Sagesse by AdmirableMonster

Plusieurs petites histoires qui parle de Pengolodh et Salgant pendant des moments differents.

Major Characters: Pengolodh, Salgant
Major Relationships: Pengolodh & Salgant
Genres: Ficlet Challenges: Tengwar
Rating: General Warnings: Creator Chooses Not to Warn
Chapters: 3 Word Count: 334
Posted on 14 April 2024 Updated on 5 May 2024
This fanwork is a work in progress.
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This is a Multimedia fanworkBlood Ties by AdmirableMonster

A close friend of Lómion's has gone missing, and a dark creature stalks the forests of his home.  When he is summoned by Nan Elmoth itself, Lómion will have to draw upon all the powers he possesses to get himself and his friend home again.

Major Characters: Original Character(s), Anguirel, Maeglin
Major Relationships: Anguirel & Maeglin, Maeglin & Original Character
Genres: Horror Challenges:
Rating: Teens Warnings: Check Notes for Warnings, Violence (Graphic)
Posted on 27 December 2023 Updated on 27 December 2023
This fanwork is complete.
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This is a Writing fanworkThe Mercy of the Fallen by AdmirableMonster

Rather than killing him, Dior curses Celegorm with his dying breath. Someone that Celegorm once helped helps him a little in turn.

Major Characters: Original Nonbinary Character(s), Celegorm
Major Relationships: Celegorm & Original Character
Genres: Alternate Universe, Drama Challenges: Understory
Rating: Teens Warnings: Character Death, In-Universe Racism/Ethnocentrism, Violence (Moderate)
Chapters: 1 Word Count: 919
Posted on 24 November 2023 Updated on 24 November 2023
This fanwork is complete.
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This is a Writing fanworkDirty Deeds by AdmirableMonster

A young Númenorean has a close encounter with a deity of his mother's people.

Major Characters: Original Male Character(s), Makar, Meássë
Major Relationships: Meássë & Original Character
Genres: Horror, Suspense Challenges: Turgon's Rock Opera
Rating: Adult Warnings: Check Notes for Warnings
Chapters: 1 Word Count: 1, 799
Posted on 14 September 2023 Updated on 15 September 2023
This fanwork is complete.
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AdmirableMonster's Gallery

Annatar in Mandos, as described by Fingon in Chthonion's masterful Harrowing series

Major Characters: Sauron
Major Relationships: No major relationships listed
Challenge: No challenge listed
Rating: General
Warnings: No warnings listed

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Cover page for my Steampunk Númenor series, The Light and the Sea.  Nimruzimir gazes out at Númenor from Andúnië.

Major Characters: Unnamed Canon Character(s)
Major Relationships: No major relationships listed
Challenge: No challenge listed
Rating: General
Warnings: No warnings listed

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AdmirableMonster's 2024 Stamp Collection

AdmirableMonster's 2023 Stamp Collection

AdmirableMonster's 2022 Stamp Collection

AdmirableMonster's 2021 Stamp Collection